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do YOU want?
And now, in honor of A.J.'s second year on the 'ol triple-dub, a very special transcript of a very special interview with entertainment legend...
William Shatner!
 
 
A.J.:  Hi, movie fans, I'm here with the one, the only, Mr. William Shatner.  Hello, Mr. Shatner, and thank you for joining me today.

SHATNER:  Please, please, my father is Mr. Shatner...  Call me Bill. 
Before we start this, I have some questions.  First, who are you? And second, why am I here?

A.J.:  I'm A.J., and I've invited you here to celebrate the 2nd Anniversary
of A.J.'s Place!

SHATNER:  Uh, huh...  And just what exactly... is 'A.J.'s Place'?

A.J.: It's on the internet, and-

SHATNER:  Oh, stop right there.  Now I get it.  Check this out... 'Hey there, cool cats! This is Bill Shatner for A.J.'s Place Dot Com, where you can find the lowest prices on an unbelievable array of radical internet gear.  Yeah!  Nobody does it better than A.J.'s Place Dot Com!'   How's that?  Do I get the job?

A.J.: Um, I don't sell 'radical internet gear'.  I run a movie review website. 
I do sell posters through AllPosters.com and videos in association with Amazon.com, though.

SHATNER:  Does that mean I don't get the job?

A.J.: There is no job.

SHATNER:  Damn.  Then what am I doing here? 

A.J.: Well, my first year anniversary was Star Wars themed, so this year I thought I'd give Star Trek equal time.  I figure we can do something like
'A.J.s Place - the final frontier'. It'll be fun!

SHATNER:  Star Trek?  A.J., I'm so beyond that, now.  I've moved on to bigger and better things.  What about a Tek War theme?  How does that sound?  Did you know that my Tek series of books, my autobiography, and my whimsical look at Star Trek fandom, Get A Life!, are all available at Amazon.com? 
If you want to do Trek, go ask Takei.  I'm sure he's available. 

A.J.:  George Takei wouldn't return my calls, Bill.

SHATNER:  I've changed my mind.  Go back to calling me Mr. Shatner.

A.J.:  Can I call you Kirk?  Or maybe like in Wrath of Khan- 'Kaaaeeerrrkk!'

SHATNER:  No.

A.J.:  'Kaaaeeerrrkk!'

SHATNER:  I said no.  And besides, it was Kirk yelling 'Khan', not the other way around.  Now drop the Trek stuff, I... don't... DO that... anymore.  Ask me something else... something about... ME.

A.J.:  Alrighty then...  Seen any good movies lately?

SHATNER: Well, since you asked, I quite enjoyed a little picture
called Showtime.

A.J.: Oh, that's right, you were in that, weren't you?  Now you can say you've worked with DeNiro!

SHATNER: And he can say that he's worked with me, yes.  Next question?

A.J.:  Uh, well, most of my questions are about Star Trek.

SHATNER:  Mmm, imagine that... Oh, all right.  I'll allow one, and only one Star Trek question.  Go ahead, and don't think there's any question on your list I haven't heard a million times before, because there isn't.

A.J.:  Okay.  Don't you think Star Trek VI should have ended not with an assasination attempt against the Federation President, but with another attempt against a high ranking Klingon, in which Kirk leaps directly into the line of fire, thereby sacrificing his own life, redeeming his past prejudices, and showing the Klingons that a human, even one as biased as Kirk, can indeed display courage and die with honor, paving the way for diplomatic negotiations between the two races, while at the same time also bringing truth to the Klingon prediction that there would be no peace while Kirk lived?

SHATNER:  You're really beginning to annoy me, you know that?

A.J.: How about we just skip ahead to, um, let's see... what's James "Scotty" Doohan really like... why do my Enterprise model kit's engine nacells keep falling off... ah... okay, here's one... So, what's new with you?
 
SHATNER:  Well, now... finally, a real question.  There may be hope for you yet, P.J.

A.J.: It's A.J.

SHATNER:  Yeah... right.  Anyway, I've just launched a fantastic personal website, williamshatner.com. I have a couple new books coming out and another movie next year...  I'm hosting Iron Chef USA, as well as doing some shows for VH-1... There's the ranch and my horses, of course...  And then there's priceline.com, where you're sure to find the best airline and hotel rates on the net.  That's priceline.com! Can you dig it?

A.J.:  Wow, you're a busy guy, Bill-

SHATNER: Ah... MISTER Shatner.

A.J.:  Mr. Shatner, you're a busy guy.  Thanks for taking time out of your schedule to celebrate the 2nd Anniversary of A.J.'s Place.

SHATNER:  Don't mention it.  A.J.'s Place, yeah... you know... have you ever thought about calling it 'T.J.'s Place'?  Has a much better ring to it, don't you think?

A.J.:  But my name isn't T.J.

SHATNER:  Neither is mine, but that didn't stop me.  Hey, here's an idea... why don't you give your readers a bunch of links dedicated to me, you know, to make up for your earlier comments?

A.J.:  Well, I don't know...

SHATNER:  Aw, c'mon... I'll let you call me Bill again... eh?

A.J.:  Sure.

William Shatner.com
Starfleet Biography for William Shatner
Sir William Shatner's Castle
J. Trusk - Shatner Look-Alike
The 'Should I Stalk William Shatner?' Test
William Shatner's Horoscope Interpretations
William Shatner Sings Mr Tambourine Man!
100 Reasons Why Kirk is Better Than Picard
T.J. Hooker.com


SHATNER:  All right! 
Now that's what I'm talking about!

A.J.:  Hey, thanks again for being here for the 2nd Anniversary of
A.J.'s Place, Bill.  Maybe we can do this again next year!

SHATNER:  I don't think so.

A.J.:  Oh.  Well, that's it then, space cadets.  As always, thanks for visiting A.J.'s Place: Movies & More! With year two behind us, it's 'warp speed ahead' to year three in A.J.'s continuing mission to search out new films... new cinema experiences... to boldly go where no movie website has gone before!

SHATNER:  Would you... PLEASE... just... shut the hell up?

A.J:  Live long and prosper!    \\//,
                                        
No Weak Links Here!
It's SHAT-TIME!
Get a freakin' life!
The T Stands for
Tough, not Tiberious!
Set to stun?  Yeah,
sure, it's set to stun.
Then, get a horse
and a cup o' joe!
Cptn. James T. Kirk
es Muy Macho!
Available where all
mid-twentieth century data storage devices
are sold!
Note: A.J. did not really interview William Shatner; The preceeding was just an incredible simulation!
          (No toupees were harmed in the making of this page.)
The William Shatner Experience - To Boldly Go?
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